Media
Contact: Susan Bremer
209-537-2604
susan@artofsensualdance.com

An Interview with Susan Bremer,
Founder of Self Appeal®

Q. Why did you decide to become an exotic dancer, particularly when you had a successful career in the business/science world?

A. I was in a transitional phase of my life and had been exploring a few new career directions. I was also very disconnected from my body and intuitively knew I couldn’t live that way any longer. When I walked into the gentlemen’s club for the first time I saw women wearing evening gowns and dazzling jewelry and their hair and makeup was done. That contrasted significantly to the jeans and hard hat I was wearing at work where I seemed to be one of the guys. I’d been reading all the women’s magazines and was enamored with the stereotype of being a glamorous woman.


Q. Many people think that Gentlemen’s Clubs and Topless Nightclubs are places that exploit women. Do you disagree?

A. I do disagree. If a woman chooses this profession and goes into it with her boundaries and values clearly defined, she will not be exploited but can instead profit from it in more ways than merely financial. The key point here is education. If someone is uneducated, naive, shameful, guilty, and deprecating about her body or her sexuality (as women are taught they should be) she may find be taken advantage of. I do think this is true for women in a variety of careers.


Q. You refer to gaining “Self Appeal” through sensual dance. What is Self Appeal?

A. All relationships start with the relationship we have with ourselves and self appeal is all about embracing every part of ourselves; having a positive relationship with the self.

If we accept ourselves, we have more capacity to accept others. If we’re tolerant patient and loving with ourselves, we’ll be that towards others and receive that from others. If we negate, ignore, or distance ourselves from our own minds and bodies, we’ll do that in our relationships with our loved ones.

It’s the old adage that we cannot love others until we love ourselves and we cannot give to others what we do not possess for ourselves. Self Appeal puts a name to this concept.


Q. When did you realize that you were actually gaining self-confidence by dancing in clubs?

A. It was a very slow process. I danced for over 8 years, but not long into it, a year perhaps… I was already starting to wrestle with the fact that my experiences weren’t matching up to the horrible stereotypes and stories I’d heard. I wasn’t getting hurt, I wasn’t hurting anyone else and I was having fun. So I had to start asking what was so wrong with what I was doing. It occurred to me that I was feeling liberated and joyful at expressing myself in a sensual manner and that I was starting to accept my body and my inherent sexuality as something that was life-giving, playful, fun and positive. It wasn’t something to be ashamed of anymore, at least within the club. It took me a long time to bring that same attitude outside of the club.

Q. Why did you decide to take your dancing outside of the club?

A. Through talking with women and seeing their reactions to what I was doing I realized that many women had a desire to express and embrace their sensual nature. And they all want and deserve to feel beautiful and sexy.

I was also talking to men on a regular basis and learned things I’d never known. Men are most interested in women that are comfortable with their bodies and accepting of their sexuality.


Q. Why did you decide to create a video?

A. I decided to make a video because the women had been asking for more, i.e., longer more detailed classes, and private instruction. They needed to take it home with them. Also, I felt it was my duty to reach out to all women to help them take control of and embrace their bodies and their sensuality.


Q. Who do you think would benefit the most from watching your video?

A. Every woman can benefit from watching the video. I’ve had young college women in their early 20’s state that it’s the most empowering thing they’ve ever done and I’ve had women in their late 60’s come to the class and revel in the simple moves and permission-giving experience.

Q. Can any woman do the moves on your video?

A. Yes, this is not a strenuous workout video. The moves are so simple, yet so effective, and yes, anyone can do them. This video is comprised of three parts that speak to the emotional, physical and psychological aspects of learning something new and fun that helps turn every woman into a sensual goddess.

The first section is body awareness, appreciation and education and helps them to connect their bodies and minds through simple non-sexual touch exercises, movement and meditation.

The second section is fifteen simple moves derived from exotic dance, which gets them moving in new ways. This section also has two simple choreographed routines women can practice at home.

The third section details how to put on a seductive performance if that’s what they want to do. It helps them get over shyness, gives tips and tools on how to remove clothing in a sexy way, how to introduce something new into their love lives and set up a romantic evening.

Whether they ever dance for anyone or not, the entire video gives them a sense of empowerment. It carries over into their entire lives, as students have told me. Suddenly they’re not in the dark anymore about how to be sexy and alluring.


Q. What will women learn in your video that they can’t learn anywhere else?

A. They will:
  • learn interesting facts about their bodies and how to tap into their baser animal instinct.
  • be given suggestions on how to combat the negative chatter that affects their feeling good about themselves.
  • be challenged to look at their conditioning and experiences regarding their bodies and sexuality.
  • learn simple moves no one else is teaching.
  • get tips on how to overcome shyness when doing a dance and how to bring their partner into the dance, sometimes referred to as lap or table dancing in clubs.
  • learn how to remove clothing in a sexy way.
  • learn how to set up a romantic evening.

Q. What is the difference between sensuality and sexuality?

A. Sensuality has to do with the senses and how you respond to the world as well as your partner. In my video women learn how to tune back into their senses. The first part of my video focuses on just that, getting back in touch with our sensuality. The exercises include touching ourselves in non-sexual ways, concentrating on the feeling of our bodies moving and opening up our sense of touch, sight and sound. Sensuality is connecting to our senses, something most of us don’t do because we are ashamed to be within the bodies that society has told us are imperfect.

Sexuality has to do with having sex. You can be very sexual and want, desire, initiate and enjoy sex and have that be a major component of your life, define your life even, but it can be devoid of real feeling and connection.
You can be sensual without being sexual. And you can be sexual without being sensual; it just won’t be a very fulfilling encounter.

Many people have sex without really feeling because that involves a deeper commitment and connection and when we are cut off from ourselves true sensuality is nearly impossible. And that brings us back to Self Appeal.